You never really know how they are going to respond. I want them to see how strong RA has made me, the lessons it’s taught me, and how it’s shaped me into who I am today. Do I lie and say what I think they want to hear, or do I tell them the truth and risk being perceived as a Debbie Downer? And I don’t want to approach a potential relationship without honesty.I want them to see my 60-plus pound weight loss and how seriously I take care of myself now. I inform dates of my arthritis at the soonest possible moment; I don’t want to waste any time weeding out the ones who have problems with it — or my son, for that matter.Their marriage ended when she passed away, which coincidentally — and terrifyingly — was the same week that I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. You could hear the compassion, understanding, support, and love in the way he spoke to her and of her. I am searching for someone who will be there through my sickness, not shy away from it.My uncle was always there for her, through her sickness and until her death. Let me give you an example of who I’m not looking for: the rockstar heavy metal boyfriend I had at the time of my diagnosis, who said to me on our first date that if he were with a woman who became disabled, he would run.My diagnosis created a transformation in me, it made me blossom into a stronger and better version of myself.Yet, I have a chronic and progressive form of arthritis — and I am disabled.Almost half the population of North America lives with a chronic illness, which doesn’t stop at the 120 forms of arthritis.There’s diabetes, epilepsy, heart disease, lung disease, multiple sclerosis, inflammatory bowel disease — the list goes on.
Rheumatoid arthritis has made me take a long hard look at my life, my behaviors, my attitude, my lifestyle, my wants and needs, and what is truly important to me and my son.I sometimes wonder who’s the bigger idiot: him, or me for dating him in the first place.They say you’re supposed to date people you share common interests with.I used to look for people I could attend heavy metal concerts or sample craft beers with; now I need to find people who can help me maintain my healthy lifestyle — who I can go to the gym or sauna with. I look for people who are compassionate, understanding, empathetic, and interested in helping others.I sometimes lack confidence in why a partner should choose me.
Search for dating arthritis:
Telling them you have an “old lady” disease is even more unattractive.